Amor y otras cosas: What do I do if I don’t trust my partner?

• Trust in a relationship is essential for it to progress and develop healthily.
• José Luis López Velarde, the host of Love and Other Matters, offers a couple of tips on this topic.
• Another scenario that could be occurring is the loss and reconstruction of trust.

Trust is one of the largest pillars in a romantic relationship, and it is something that beyond being earned, must be nurtured and maintained when lost.

We enter a crisis in the relationship. But it is also important to note that crises become evolutions, and these can tremendously strengthen the couple’s bond if handled correctly.

Today, we will address the issue of distrust in a relationship and how to effectively confront it. Distrust can arise for various reasons, and it is essential to understand why it exists before seeking solutions.

Trust, as José Luis points out, is not based on the other person doing what one wants them to do, but on the congruence between their actions and thoughts.

Trust is not about having things done the way you want

To trust is to believe that the other person will act according to who they really are.

In many cases, trust issues stem from poor or unrealistic agreements in the relationship.

Instead of blaming the other person when an agreement breaks, it is essential to recognize the shared responsibility in formulating these agreements.

José Luis highlights the importance of establishing smaller and more achievable agreements to rebuild trust. These agreements must be flexible and adapt as trust is restored.

The Frog and the Scorpion

An impactful metaphor he shares is the story of the frog and the scorpion.

In this story, the frog agrees to help the scorpion cross the river, despite the risk of being stung. The trust here lies in the scorpion acting according to its nature. How does this relate to romantic relationships?

José Luis reminds us that we often expect our partner to change, despite knowing who they really are.

This can lead to a breakdown of trust when our agreements are unrealistic.

Creating Effective Communication

Instead of demanding drastic changes, it is more effective to build trust step by step.

Open and honest communication is essential in the process of rebuilding trust. Couples must be able to share their feelings, fears, and progress without fear of judgment or retaliation.

Rebuilding trust involves creating smaller and more achievable agreements. José Luis emphasizes the importance of setting realistic expectations and being willing to adapt agreements as trust is reestablished.

Open and honest communication plays a crucial role in this process.

Final Thoughts

José Luis also stresses that true trust comes from self-confidence. Having self-esteem and the certainty that we can handle any situation, regardless of what happens in the relationship, is vital.

This allows you to support your partner in their process of change and transformation, without becoming their controller.

In summary, if you find yourself in a situation where you don’t trust your partner, rebuilding trust is a process that involves mutual understanding, empathy, communication, and above all, self-confidence.

Remember that trust can be restored through realistic agreements and small steps towards a stronger and healthier relationship. José Luis López Velarde says goodbye for now and hopes this information helps you. Until next time!